When people are stressed out, afraid of failing, or frustrated they aren’t getting their way, they tend to do things that makes the situation worse. Well intentioned actions we hope will make things better, but tend to make things worse, I call spoilers.

In the heat of the moment, spoilers are often blind spots to us. They take extra effort for us to notice. And they take an exhausting amount of effort to fix. And they can have a vicious cycle effect on others that we don’t realize til it is too late. John doesn’t realize he makes everyone want to shut off and not listen to him when he starts raising his voice to be heard to re-emphasize his already stated opinion. This leads Sharon to not surface her opinions any more. Group think emerges, and a spiral effect occurs that breaks down opportunities to infuse the situation with fresh ideas.

So, empower others to hit your reset button by giving you a nickname they have free license to say whenever you start down the spoiler path. This takes courage, but usually pays off in big ways.

Why? Because nicknames are disarming and endearing. They make us laugh. They put us at ease. They make us feel understood. They create camaraderie through teasing. And when we are at ease, we are at a better place to actually overcome our spoilers, because they are often motivated by our fears and anxieties about performing well.

One client I call “Pusher” because if she doesn’t get her way, she just pushes harder and harder. When I call her this, she laughs, she takes a deep breath, and she starts talking differently. Another says to calls hims “Dozer”, because he is like a bulldozer when trying to persuade others. Another is called “Pacifier” because they never admits when there is conflict that needs to be attended to.

“Ok, Do everything guy”

“Let’s analyze it more, Overthinker”

Allowing others to joke with you like this can be freeing. It frees you up to know you aren’t perfect, and that others on your team are OK with this. That your team is here to support, in a fun and joking manner.
For people with over-communication as a spoiler, simply give others permission to use the time out hand signal to cut you off so they can get a word in. This empowerment tactic does wonders for their listeners.

To put this into action, make a list of your top spoilers. Ask a few people who know you well to define which spoilers have the most dramatic impact on your effectiveness. Then, have your friends or a coach give you an easy to say nickname about it. Finally, empower those around you to use this nickname every time you engage in the spoiler behavior.

Let others help you do the self-improvement work. You’ll get farther, faster, if you do.

For your EBD activities, it is critical to know what impact they have on you. And to schedule energizing activities before and after them.

For many people, having a discussion with a poor performer about their performance is draining. So we dread it before we have it, and if we have strong empathy strengths, often feel awful about it afterwards. A few people out there are actually energized by this sort of conversation, but not many.

Both Kyle and Sharon are finding relief by creating a motivation sandwich, where they schedule energizing and enjoyable tasks before and after a draining one. This is a slight tweak of the Sandwich feedback method, where you give praise, then criticism, then end with praise during a difficult performance conversation.

Yet the key to staying productive beyond the conversation, is to proactively manage the before and after impact.

Are you dreading the conversation, over-preparing for how to have it, and ignoring other important tasks? Afterwards, are you so drained by it that you go home and veg out in front of the T.V., hit the alcohol too hard, or spin your wheels on useless tasks as an unproductive escape?

For Sharon, who loves learning, she schedules time to read an article she’s been wanting to get to before her draining conversation, and then schedules a meeting with a colleague she really enjoys to engage in brainstorming a new vision for her department, afterwards. This keeps her motivated, upbeat, and fired up.

For kyle, who is motivated towards constant achievement, he reviews his top 5 most important activities of the week before hand, then eats his favorite snack afterwards as a reward for getting something important done.

As individuals, we are all wired a bit different. Therefore, what motivates us and keeps us on track may be different, and can range from large to small doses of inspiration (e.g. top 5 list vs eating a delicious snack). Talk to a coach about what might be the best motivation sandwich for you. You may find that activities you keep avoiding and dreading, will get done faster and easier.

Ivy Lee told him: “Do this. Each day right down the 6 most important things for you to do that day in order of importance. At the start of the day, work on the most important one. Don’t do anything else till you have finished it, then begin working on the second one. Have all your people do this as well.”

Lee continued: “Don’t worry if you only finish 2 or 3 of the items, or even if you only finish the 1st one. If you can’t finish all 6 with this method you wouldn’t have finished them with another method. And doing this you will at least know you are spending your time on the most important ones.”

Schwab asked his “That’s it?”

Charles M Schwab’s home was the largest on Manhattan at the time

Lee said “Yes, do that and have your managers do that for a month. At the end of the month mail me a check for what you think the idea is worth.”

The entire meeting took 25 minutes. Two weeks later, Schwab sent Lee a check for $25,000 (more like $300k in modern times) and a note saying it was the most profitable business lesson he had ever learned. Schwab went on to build Bethlehem Steel into the largest independent steel company in the nation.

That’s the story at least. Some variation of this story is a favorite of writers and coaches. Some version is told and retold and it probably falls into the “Too good to validate.” camp – Wikipedia currently footnotes the anecdote as “Dubious – Discuss.”

But while the specifics of the anecdotes may be in question, the value of the advice isn’t. Systems to make sure you are setting aside time for or focusing effort on the highest impact activities (through either Top 5 or Calendaring) are imperative to staying focused on the important things and not getting sucked into putting out fires or dealing with unimportant but demanding/pressing people or problems.

Interestingly, getting Charles M. Schwab to use a Top 6 system is not actually the thing that Ivy Lee is most commonly associated with. He is mainly known as the Father of modern Public Relations.

I guess any good PR person will tell you, it doesn’t matter how good your idea is if you can’t find a way to package it so that people will listen.

It turns out the 80/20 split is pretty common in a wide number of fields:

- 80% of crime is committed by 20% of criminals

- 80% of health care cost is attributable to the most expensive 20% of patients

- Microsoft has found the 20% of bugs most frequently reported cause 80% of crashes.

- 20% of the world’s population holds 80% of the world’s wealth.

But it is also applicable to the daily efforts of most of us. And if 80% of your results come from 20% of your effort then the key to productivity is identifying that 20% and making sure you have a system to complete it each day, week and month. One way to do this is by calendaring in the key tasks each day so you know you have time for them. Another way is a Top 5 type system, where you outline the highest impact things you can do and go down that list in order of importance.

Lots of great authors have talked about how to manage your works efforts around the 80 /20 rule. Ruthlessly consider which customers account for 80% of your frustrations and only 20% of your business, and cut these people out.

But one story that I found inspiring, was by a client of mine who implemented this in an uncommon way. She would work hard 60-70 hours a week, and feel the urgent need to “recharge fast”. She tended to get a couple massages a week, but found that this was an expensive way to “recharge.” She felt great when her mind shut off while cooking a gourmet meal, but this often took 6 hours, and left her with lots of dishes to clean after. So, she did an 80 / 20 analysis about how she felt during and after “recharging” activities. And she found that for only 45 minutes of time, she could get same the recharged and re-centered feeling, for less cost, yet still do something “productive” during it. And this was walking her dogs on the beach at her favorite spot. She got outdoors, got some fresh air, got the dogs exercised, and felt just as recharged as any of the other activities for a fraction of the time.

It’s not as important what system you use, but that you have a system. For most of us, 20% of our time is around 2 hours a day. Do you have a plan to identify and accomplish in 2 hours the items which will drive 80% of your results? And further, do you know what recharges you more quickly when you need it? For me, the best recharging ROI activity for me is 60 minutes of hot yoga or hiking. What is it for you?

Peter Drucker believes that most people aren’t aware of their strengths, or don’t know how to apply it successfully into their roles. Even in my own life, I sometimes forget to play to my strengths. It is baffling that people tend to spend 2-6 times longer to do a task if it doesn’t fit their strengths, yet often we want to develop our weakness, not our strength. But that is why the role of a manager exists. To help people do something they are great at, and have it contribute towards achievement of something meaningful.

First, lets create awareness, then consider a way to self manage our strengths

What is a strength?

A strength is something we do naturally well, that creates positive results in work or life. It is something that others notice and value. When we engage in this action, we get consistently great results, not mediocre results. If sometimes we give a great presentation, yet sometimes we don’t, or sometimes can read the emotions of our audience, and sometimes we can’t, then this isn’t a strength. A strength is also something we can do for long periods of time and not get tired. In effect, it gives us an energy boost when we are doing it. It is not always something we love to do, but it often can be. For instance, I love dancing, but I look pretty awkward most of the time when I’m doing it, and rarely get feedback from others I’m naturally great at it. But I can analyze root causes that impact performance for people at any time of the day, at any level of fatigue, and still get consistent feedback my insights are spot on.

How do we figure out what our strengths are?

- Ask other people who know you well – what do I do best? (and worst). Ask them to be honest.
- Take a strengthsfinder 2.0 test from Gallup to learn your top 5 strength themes
- Consider how energized you feel during or immediately after you do something?
- Review how long it takes you to do something? and what emotions surfaced for you while doing it?
- Work with a coach or manager to track what things you seem to pick up quicker than others, that you seem to get better and better at with each small amount of practice

How do we manage to our strengths?

This is easier said than done. The simple ideas can often be the most powerful, but hardest to implement

In order to truly focus, use this simple exercise to help you start working only on items that are close to your strengths:

1) Make a list of everything you do daily and weekly. Some people like to pretend someone took a video of me working all day for a month and write down everything in the movie.

2) Put all of those items in column one of a spreadsheet.

3) In column two, put one of these four letters describing your skill level related to the task:

a. I = Incompetent – meaning you’re terrible at it

b. C = Competent – meaning you’re OK at it

c. E = Excellent – meaning you’re awesome at it (but you don’t love it)

d. U = Unique Strength – these are things you are great at, and enjoy doing.

4) In column three, put the hourly wage you’d be willing to pay someone to do that task as a full time job.

5) Then begin quickly delegating, stopping or outsourcing the lowest paying tasks and the tasks where I have only a C or I.

This simple system will help you quickly become more focused on doing exactly what you need to grow your company or team. Imagine if you had everyone in your company doing things that played to their strengths more often than their weaknesses? The workplace would be a better, more enjoyable place.

At Watz Productivity, we believe two growth maxims are always at play.

1) Growth is always awkward, anyone who thinks otherwise is delusional

And doing awkward things is draining. This is why taking advantage of how you are wired is so critical. If we invest into our strengths — the areas where we perform best for the least amount of effort — we get the energy we need to endure the ups and downs of new growth pursuits.

2) Important growth follows a sequence to be sustainable

In order to have long term growth that lasts, leaders have three domains to master: first self, then key relationships, then strategic partnerships. Without a balanced focus on each domain, results can be volatile or frustrating — for you and those you influence.
It’s easy to blame others for why we aren’t more productive or effective, rather than taking courage to focus on what we can do differently, and where extra effort is needed.

How much time and effort do you allocate across the three domains per week on average? Is this working well for you?